An Ethicist’s Guide to Living a Good Life
How do we define success in a world that often prioritizes external validation? Ira Bedzow explores this question, revealing that the journey to a purposeful life begins from within.
Understanding Purpose: A Personal Exploration
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of finding your purpose? Ira Bedzow, an ethicist and rabbi, reframes the daunting concept of a single life calling into a fluid practice of self-defined intention. He reminds us that ethics and values are not abstract ideals but guiding forces that shape our everyday decisions and actions.
To begin exploring your purpose, Bedzow suggests asking reflective questions that ground your decisions in what truly matters:
- What do I want to achieve in this situation?
- Do I genuinely desire this goal, or am I responding to external pressure?
- Am I becoming the kind of person I aspire to be?
- How can I effectively pursue these true desires?
Engaging with these questions cultivates self-awareness and helps align daily actions with deeper values, empowering you to make confident, purposeful choices.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
In a culture obsessed with external markers, we often measure success by promotions, awards, or social approval. Bedzow challenges this approach, defining success as fulfilling your goals without betraying your core beliefs. He urges us to envision the life behind those achievements, focusing on activities that bring genuine joy rather than prizes.
“When you think about success, ask yourself, who do you wake up next to? What kind of work do you do? How do you spend your weekends?”
This simple visualization shifts our focus from fleeting accomplishments to meaningful routines. By mapping out the daily experiences you value—such as quality time with loved ones or creative work—you create sustainable definitions of success that reflect your personal values and ethics.
The Distinction Between Urgency and Importance
Many of us conflate urgent tasks with truly important ones, responding immediately to emails or notifications without assessing long-term value. Bedzow warns that constant urgency distracts us from activities that nourish our well-being, like self-care and relationship building.
To distinguish urgent from important:
- Evaluate each item on your to-do list for its contribution to long-term purpose.
- Set clear boundaries—practice saying no to tasks that conflict with your priorities.
- Schedule weekly reflections to assess what worked, what didn’t, and whether your focus aligns with your values.
By regularly weighing urgency against importance, you can reclaim control of your schedule and invest energy in what truly matters.
Addressing Burnout: Steps Toward Balance
Burnout often stems from mismatches between our responsibilities and our deeper values or from social pressures that push us to overwork. Bedzow emphasizes the importance of recognizing the roots of productivity obsession and making conscious choices to prevent exhaustion:
- Identify the true drivers behind your work habits—are they self-imposed or externally driven?
- Prioritize activities that resonate with your passions, rather than merely ticking boxes.
- Practice self-compassion: give yourself permission to step back, recharge, and restore balance.
By targeting the underlying sources of burnout, you build a sustainable, value-driven approach to productivity and resilience.
The Community Connection: Enhancing Life’s Meaning
Success and meaning are rarely solo pursuits; they flourish within a supportive community. Bedzow notes that celebrating achievements with others not only strengthens bonds but also enriches our shared culture of values and support.
Consider these practices to deepen your community connections:
- Publicly acknowledge and celebrate others’ accomplishments, fostering positive reciprocity.
- Seek relationships that challenge and inspire you to live in alignment with your purpose.
- Volunteer or engage in community service, which reinforces a collective sense of ethics and shared success.
Investing in meaningful connections amplifies both individual and communal well-being, creating a virtuous cycle of support and purpose.
Cultivating Intentional Living
What if every day offered a fresh opportunity to realign with your ideals? Bedzow draws on a Talmudic tale to illustrate mindful living. In the story, Rabbi Eliezer advises, “Repent one day before you die,” prompting students to ask how anyone could know their final day.
“Repent one day before you die,” so live every day as if you must realign your actions with your highest aspirations.
This perspective transforms repentance from dwelling on past missteps into a proactive return to one’s best self. By treating each morning as a chance to recommit to your values, you infuse daily routines—reflection, gratitude, and purposeful action—with deeper meaning and intentionality.
Conclusion: The Ethical Journey to a Meaningful Life
Are you ready to redefine fulfillment through the lens of purpose, community, and ethics? Living deliberately demands active exploration of your values and relationships rather than passively waiting for meaning to appear.
• Actionable Takeaway: Choose one daily habit—reflective journaling, a boundary around urgent tasks, or a shared celebration with a friend—and commit to it this week. Notice how this intentional step strengthens your sense of success and purpose.