How Art Helped Me Grapple with Grief: Navied Mahdavian's TED Talk

Art has a unique ability to express complex emotions, especially grief. For many, including artists, creativity becomes a lifeline in times of loss.

The Power of Memory Through Art

When Navied Mahdavian discovered that his grandmother was nearing the end of her life, his first instinct was to draw her hands. As a visual artist and cartoonist for The New Yorker, he found that drawing was his way of understanding the world. For years, his cartoons had been impersonal, reflecting the world around him rather than his own experiences. However, the birth of his daughter, Elika, began to shift that perspective, allowing his personal life to seep into his work.

Mahdavian reflects on how cartoons can convey profound emotions with minimal lines. This phenomenon, known as pareidolia, allows us to see faces in inanimate objects and, in turn, see ourselves in those faces. But how do you express complex feelings like sadness with just a few strokes? This question became increasingly important as he faced the impending loss of his grandmother, Houma.

A Personal Connection to Grief

Mahdavian's relationship with his grandmother was unique; unlike his other grandparents who lived and died in Iran, he had spent the last decade of her life with her. Their time together was filled with memories, from unconventional wedding dances to stories over cups of tea. Yet, when he learned she was dying, he felt an urgent need to preserve her memory through art, specifically by capturing the essence of her hands.

However, when he finally visited her, time was short, and he found himself preoccupied with family responsibilities. In the midst of this classic existential experience, he realized that life often feels meaningless until we pause to reflect on it. This reflection is what allows us to understand our experiences more deeply.

The Complexity of Loss

In his family, dealing with grief has never been straightforward. Mahdavian notes that they often avoid confronting sadness, leading to an idealized portrayal of those they've lost. This tendency to exaggerate the positive traits of the deceased can prevent genuine mourning.

"When we do that, we don't truly feel the sadness. We fail to confront the person we lost as a complex individual with flaws." — Navied Mahdavian

Through his cartoons, Mahdavian sought to distill his grief into something manageable. He focused on the intricate details of his grandmother's hands—the trembling fingers, the visible veins, and the softness that came from years of care. These hands were not just symbols of aging; they represented a rich life filled with both beauty and struggle.

Transforming Grief into Art

Unable to draw his grandmother's hands during their last encounter, Mahdavian turned to his own hands as a reference. He raised his aged hands and sketched, imagining how they would feel when they could no longer perform daily tasks. This process allowed him to embody his grandmother's experience, deepening his understanding of her life and struggles.

By using himself as a reference, Mahdavian transformed not only his grandmother but also his friends and even his young daughter into the characters of his art. This physical connection to his subjects enabled him to explore their stories more profoundly, allowing him to live within those narratives and gain a richer understanding of their contexts.

The Role of Art in Understanding Grief

For Mahdavian, art is a form of communication that transcends words. It allows for the expression of what is most important to us and reassures us that we are not alone in our feelings. In moments of sorrow, art becomes a way to distill complex emotions into simpler forms.

Key Takeaway: Art can serve as a powerful tool for processing grief, allowing us to connect with our emotions and the memories of those we've lost.

As Mahdavian poignantly illustrates, seeing the beauty in the lines of his grandmother's hands enabled him to communicate without words. This non-verbal connection is essential, especially when words fail us in the face of loss.

In what ways do you use creativity to cope with your own grief? How can art help you connect with your emotions and the memories of loved ones?