Understanding ADHD and Emotions in Men: Mark Almoldovar's Journey

Did you know that while women with ADHD are frequently underdiagnosed, men often face the opposite challenge—acknowledging ADHD can feel like a threat to traditional masculinity? Discover how Mark Almoldovar turned his own diagnosis into a movement that supports men in embracing ADHD and their emotions.

The Impact of Masculinity on ADHD

For many men with ADHD, masculine stereotypes fuel a damaging stigma around mental health. From a young age, boys hear that “real men” must be stoic, self-reliant providers who never show vulnerability. As Mark Almoldovar, founder of the Men’s ADHD Support Group, explains, admitting to an ADHD diagnosis or attending therapy can feel like failing a masculinity test. In online discussions, members share how fear of judgment led them to mask symptoms for years, suppressing emotions and avoiding treatment. This silence breeds isolation, intensifies emotional suppression, and undermines career and relationship success. Recognizing how societal expectations shape their experience is an essential first step toward creating safe, judgment-free spaces for support.

Mark’s ADHD Diagnosis at 16

Mark’s journey began at age 16 in a Cuban-Hispanic household that viewed inattentiveness as laziness rather than a neurodevelopmental trait. Report cards repeatedly cited a messy desk, sloppy handwriting, and an inability to stay on task. Yet the same teenager could memorize every Batman detail—animators, theme music composers, and comic book story arcs—demonstrating intense hyperfocus on his passions. He felt “different” but lacked the language to describe it. When academic struggles threatened to hold him back a grade, Mark bravely sought professional help. A comprehensive evaluation named his experience: ADHD. From that point, he began to understand that his brain worked differently rather than deficiently.

"Pretty much all throughout my life, I knew I was a little bit different... kind of typical things that you would see in an attentive ADHD or where the hyperactivity was more in my mind," — Mark Almoldovar

Fully Understanding His ADHD in His Early 20s

It wasn’t until Mark’s early 20s—during a painful breakup—that he fully confronted the impact of ADHD on his self-esteem. He realized how much he depended on external validation to feel worthwhile. Therapy became a safe outlet to unpack self-criticism, and he consumed ADHD classics like Driven to Distraction and Russell Barkley’s works to reframe his narrative. Through journaling and standardized self-awareness exercises, Mark identified patterns of negative self-talk rooted in past criticism (“you’re lazy” or “underachieving”). With each insight, he replaced self-blame with strategies: time-blocking for tasks, creating visual reminders for appointments, and celebrating small wins to rebuild confidence.

How Did Mark “Marry” His ADHD?

Mark describes “marrying” his ADHD as the moment he stopped waging war on his brain’s wiring and instead learned to cooperate with it. He embraced structured therapy sessions, joined peer-led online forums, and established a consistent routine of reading ADHD literature and attending workshops. Practices like Pomodoro timers for focused work, mindfulness breaks to reset the mind, and weekly check-ins with accountability partners became pillars of his approach. This holistic commitment—combining clinical guidance with community support—turned ADHD from an adversary into an ally, unlocking personal growth and fueling his mission to help other men navigate similar paths.

Signs of ADHD That Men Overlook

In conversations within the Men’s ADHD Support Group, Mark has observed that men frequently miss or misattribute key ADHD indicators:

• Emotional regulation challenges: sudden outbursts of anger, shame, or deep anxiety.
• Chronic time blindness: consistently underestimating how long tasks take.
• Financial mismanagement: forgetting bills, impulse purchases, or avoiding budgeting.
• Relationship strain: difficulty following through on commitments or misreading social cues.
• Poor organizational habits: cluttered spaces, lost items, and missed deadlines.
• Neglected self-care: irregular sleep, erratic eating patterns, and minimal exercise.

These subtler symptoms can erode self-worth and drive men to believe they simply need to “try harder.” Bringing awareness to these signs underscores that ADHD’s impact is far more than an occasional lapse in concentration.

Creating the ADHD Men’s Support Group, and What’s Next

What began as a 50-member Facebook page has transformed into a robust nonprofit community of over 20,000 men across Facebook, Meetup, and Discord. The COVID-19 pandemic spurred rapid growth as isolation prompted many to seek an ADHD diagnosis for the first time. Monthly virtual events feature expert speakers such as Dr. William Dodson and Dr. Carolyn Parcel. In-person chapters in New York City, North Carolina, and California foster local connection over coffee and conversation. Looking ahead, Mark aims to launch satellite meetups in more regions, partner with mental health professionals for specialized workshops, and develop an ambassador program so every man can find a safe space near him.

Reframing Negative Self-Talk

Breaking free from “failure cycles” requires interrupting negative thoughts before they spiral. Mark recommends techniques grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy:

• Positive affirmations: write or recite statements like “I bring unique strengths” daily.
• Real-time thought logs: note self-critical thoughts and counter them with evidence.
• Mindful pauses: take short breathing breaks when frustration peaks to reset emotional responses.
• Support networks: designate “hype men,” friends or peers who remind you of past successes.
• Celebrate progress: track and reward small achievements to reinforce motivation.

By consistently challenging negative narratives—“I’m not defined by my slip-ups”—men can cultivate resilience and foster a more compassionate inner dialogue.

Conclusion: Appreciating Your Unique Journey

ADHD and emotions are part of your identity, not a measure of weakness. Prioritizing mental health, reframing self-talk, and tapping into supportive communities can transform isolation into empowerment and relationships into sources of strength. Your willingness to embrace ADHD positively influences not only your life but also inspires others to do the same.

• Join or create a peer support group to normalize conversations about ADHD, masculinity, and emotions.

Explore resources like the Men’s ADHD Support Group (https://www.mensadhdsupportgroup.org/) and learn about the importance of self-advocacy (https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-importance-of-self-advocacy). Together, we can reshape how men experience ADHD and emotions for the better.