Understanding Inconsistency: Insights from an ADHD Coach
Have you ever felt like your personality has conflicting sides? If you have ADHD, you might find that your behaviors and feelings can be unpredictably inconsistent, leaving you questioning your self-identity.
The Contradictions of ADHD
Many people with ADHD experience a whirlwind of contradictions within themselves. Take Tena, for instance. She describes herself as extroverted and affectionate, yet she battles social anxiety and often feels drained after social interactions. “I can be very extroverted and maybe even like attention, but my social battery runs out quick,” she shares. This duality can leave individuals feeling exhausted and unsure about their decisions, relationships, and even their own identities.
It's not uncommon to ask yourself questions like:
- Why can’t I focus on this passion project today when I was so excited about it last week?
- Why do I feel blah and bored with this vacation when I was so eager before it started?
- Why am I scatterbrained right now when I was laser-focused just an hour ago?
These inconsistencies can create a sense of frustration and anxiety, making it difficult to trust ourselves and our feelings.
Understanding the Roots of Inconsistency
So, what causes these unpredictable behaviors? The answer lies in how ADHD affects our brain function. Here are some common reasons:
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Baseline vs. Go Mode: Neurotypical brains tend to have regulated levels of dopamine, which supports consistent functioning. In contrast, those with ADHD often operate at a lower baseline, leading to fluctuations in executive function and emotional regulation. When dopamine levels spike—like during exciting activities or deadlines—our brains can feel supercharged, but this can also lead to a crash afterward.
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Sensory Processing Challenges: Tena’s discomfort with personal space can be attributed to sensory processing difficulties. At her baseline, she may struggle with sensory input, making close interactions feel overwhelming.
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Autonomy and Motivation: We thrive when we feel we have control over our choices. For example, if we choose to attend a loud concert, we’re more likely to enjoy it than if we feel trapped in a noisy room. This sense of autonomy can boost our motivation and help us manage sensory overload.
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Intensity and Exhaustion: The high levels of dopamine can lead to intense experiences that are exhilarating but ultimately exhausting. This can explain why someone might feel drained after a social event or why they struggle to return to a passion project after a period of hyperfocus.
Strategies for Greater Reliability
While it’s impossible to be completely consistent, there are ways to navigate the inconsistencies of ADHD. Here are some strategies to help you become more reliable:
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Identify Patterns: Work with an ADHD coach to recognize your unique behavioral patterns. Understanding when you tend to feel overwhelmed or energized can help you plan accordingly.
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Schedule Downtime: If you know that socializing drains your energy, block out time for rest afterward. This proactive approach can help you recharge and maintain balance.
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Prepare for Challenges: Stock your pantry with quick meal options for weeknights when cooking feels like a chore. This way, you can still enjoy cooking without the pressure.
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Embrace Autonomy: When faced with sensory challenges, remind yourself that you have the power to make choices. Whether it’s wearing comfortable clothing or using earplugs in loud environments, feeling in control can make a significant difference.
Embracing Your Unique Journey
Understanding the reasons behind your inconsistent behaviors can be liberating. It allows you to accept yourself more fully and manage your differences effectively. Remember, a little variety isn’t a bad thing; it can even be exciting!
Actionable Takeaway: Start tracking your behaviors and feelings to identify patterns. This awareness can empower you to make intentional choices that align with your needs.
Have you experienced similar contradictions in your life? How do you navigate the complexities of your personality? Share your thoughts in the comments!